Defending the Greeks

Why am I always the one defending the Greeks?!?!

Last Wednesday I nearly got in verbal sparring match with my old German senior, who is convinced that Alexis Tsipras from the Syriza party is a hard-line communist.

No my friend, that would the KKE who have said, that if they get the majority in parliament, there would never be any more elections! Yes, Tsipras is radically left, but I was personally surprised that my senior was more concerned about him, than the fact that the neo-nazis (Golden Dawn) had gotten seats in parliament this election!

Here’s a quote from the NYT.

On the spectrum, Syriza falls between the Greek Communist Party, which never broke with Moscow during the cold war and rejects the euro and the European Union, and the Socialist Party, known as Pasok, which is seen as more of a patronage network than an ideology. Syriza is an umbrella of leftist parties ranging from softer-line communists to Marxists to social democrats. The “radical” in its Greek name translates more accurately as “nontraditional.”

But that’s fine. Greek politics are mind-boggling complicated. But what I tried to explain to him, was that if you have politicians who are also the wealthy members of society and practice an advanced form of nepotism, where they appoint friends and family into office just so they can qualify for the sweet retirement package and if you consider that the position of Prime Minister is practically handed down to the children of the major political families, as in the case of Papandreou, whose father and grandfather were both prime ministers, well, it’s easy to see how corrupt the politics in Greece are.

At any rate I was flabbergasted because, at this point look, I understand, Germany doesn’t want to be hated for giving Greece money. And sure you could argue that they still owe Greece money from the war, but as the US also still owes France money from the Revolutionary War, (or is it vice versa?) what does that really mean anymore. What’s more morally wrong is the history of the rest of Europe’s financially predatory money lending to Greece in every time of crisis, from the Greek War for Independence, til rebuilding after the war.

As I said it’s long and complicated and I’m currently re-reading “A Concise History of Greece” by Richard Clogg so that I can really understand the politics.

I think Europe has done massively wrong by Greece in terms of finances and continues to do so. Good. Most people won’t agree with me. Even people in Greece like to tell me and honestly believe, that it’s a bunch of Jews in NYC trying to steal the “money” from their country. Great whatever guys, blame the Jews. Yeah these bonds are garbage and they came from Goldman Sachs. But they weren’t the ones buying homes sold at an artificially listed price because the real value with inflation would have meant higher taxes. Not to mention that they were even built upon land that was burnt by arsonist. It goes on and on.

Back to my German senior, my point was only that you cannot shake your finger at Greece for corruption and then when the people finally vote these decrepit parties out of power, stamp your feet and say “we don’t like that either”. You’re not the boss of Greece. And if you fail to understand that the Greek are supremely proud of their country and don’t want help from the “nazis” who marched through it, still in living memory, then I just can’t help you.

It’d be great if they sent tax people from Europe to Greece, but that isn’t going to happen if the effort is spearheaded by the Germans. It’s unfortunate, but true: a little bit of this conflict is made worse, by the part of Germany’s history, that they’d very much like to have behind them now. What Europe needs is a better way of organizing responsibility for the Euro, i.e. European tax collection agencies, that is truly multi-national. With all the bureaucracy of Europe, it’s hard to say, go on give us some more, but I think it’s clear now that Germany isn’t effective, trying to take on this responsibility alone.

Merkel btw the way is becoming more and more ridiculous. She just suggested creating a referendum for the Greeks about whether they wanted to stay in the Euro zone. Wait a second Frau Merkel, didn’t Papandreou suggest something similar before you flipped out at him for his cheek? Have you read any of the opinion polls coming from Greece? No one wants to leave! But you can’t raise taxes, fire people, cut salaries by half, and demand full taxes from normal citizens for the first time in who knows how long, all at the same time! Greece didn’t demand to be in the Euro zone, they were invited! There would be the same reaction in Germany. You are kidding yourself. Not to mention everyone here is taking simplistic moral arguments, instead of bothering to learn further details about the crisis. How dare the Greeks stand up for themselves! How dare they decide not to let people starve because of a banking crisis! The nerve of people not to fall in line and do precisely what Germany dictates! How dare Hollande suggest growth instead of austerity!

Here’s the latest news about the changing opinion of our dear chancellor.

Don’t believe everything you read in American newspapers. I’m confronted by so much schadenfreude when I read the drivel that is printed there. We’d just love it if the Euro failed, huh? Then it would just prove that the dollar is the best and “socialism” is worthless. Puh-lease.

Excuse me for my rant, but I’m tired of people not really understanding what’s going on and calling all Greeks lazy good for nothings. Did anyone catch the Bild list of top ten European countries who work the most? Germany didn’t make it, but Greece did.

Everyone needs to take a bit of responsibility here and do a little less finger-pointing.

Btw if I have children and the US continues to tax based on citizenship, there’s a good chance they will be only Greek citizens, so I suppose it’s only fair I start defending them now! Haha.

Here’s a brilliant Youtube video. It’s not perfect, but it makes a good argument.

A grumpy little update

Writer’s block would be a better excuse for not writing in here for a while. But I guess I’ve been following the little adage about not having anything nice to say.

So I’m reading and ignoring the fact that I’ve retreated into my introverted little shell. HA. It is what it is.

I guess recently I’m just tired of working my butt off and, well, let me word this correctly, I’m not getting directly criticized per se, but I feel like I am constantly surrounded by people who just want a frickin dictionary and pay no mind to the actual work I am doing. You can’t translate a language word for word, how often have I repeated these words to deaf ears?!?!

It’s more like I have negative comments and disappointment and scorn and American stereotypes sort of floating above my head, not exactly hitting me, but after an extended amount of exposure, not exactly leaving me unscathed either.

Neither are English classes a place where I can improve my German. I write things down to be polite, but my brain is fully concentrating on the lesson, working and answering questions and thinking ahead to the next activity. They can tell me all the German expressions they want, but in five minutes I’ll have forgotten it completely.

I did go away for a month and took a course, but that might as well have been another lifetime, for all the good it did me. If I want to learn Greek, (and I had darn well better do it, while I’m surrounded by it everyday) I don’t have time for ANY German.

If it were the kids only being stupid, I guess I’d be doing OK. Kids need to mature and learn things the hard way. Ignorance is forgivable when you’re young.

But oh dear, this cynicism from the seniors. I don’t need to defend all of America, from some pig-headed old man, who has decided that all English speakers who come to Germany purposefully don’t learn German, and they’re incapable of learning any language well, just cause they don’t have to. Nor will he listen to my careful explanation of the American high school experience and my argument that one might not meet a native speaker of French or German or even Spanish until almost out of their teens. Forget a “short” trip to Paris.

It’s not all about me mind, but when I’ve taken the time to address his wildly-outrageous, old-man-the-world’s-going-to-hell-in-a-handbasket-worldview, and doesn’t he just have that arrogant look in his eye, that tells me even this man thinks poorly of my German. And I tell you, yeah it’s enough to totally deflate me. And these aren’t one-off stereotypes either. I hope to God, my world doesn’t revolve around conspiracy theories if I reach such a ripe-old age.

You know work colleagues, who cares. We’re not going to be friends anyway and I didn’t learn German or Greek for them. If my boss wants to explain to the little girls that I don’t know Greek and I understand every single word, but just sit there feigning ignorance, because…really.. why bother interrupting your boss, who cares. I’m not paid to speak Greek there, and I don’t speak Greek in class, cause it’s hard enough maintaining classroom control without speaking in a funny accent/making a stupid mistake that’ll have the kids laughing for ages. If I want to say something, I say it right, or don’t say it.

But you know, I know in my heart that there will be some kids who explain for the rest of their lives, yeah there was this American teacher we had at Frontistirio and she tried to learn Greek, but it’s like totally the hardest language in the world and Americans can’t learn languages anyway. I mean she was cute but she spoke German with a stupid accent too. The other teacher said it was awful too. We did so many bad things and she never realized it.

“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I see all my goals are within my grasp, but meanwhile I have no time to make progress on any of them and people are constantly trying to shut the door on my progress for me. I don’t think I’m over-reacting. But I can’t deny that I’m burned out   and resentful.

The thing that I hate the most, is how being this way makes me incapable of really being present with the kids when they are sitting in front of me, excitedly greeting me and willing to learn and I’m stuck in my own head, and no amount of chewing myself out is helping.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not pouting while I teach, or copping a major attitude, kids don’t deserve that and the seniors just want fill up the hours of their weeks with pleasant chitchat. I’m just quieter, but repressing my irritation also has an adverse effect on my stress levels. Furthermore it leaves me grumpier in the presence of the one person I see during the week that I completely trust and respect and want to see everyday.

All there is to it, is to focus my effort on moving on to the next step and moving to from this chapter of my life. Sometimes you just gotta admit that you’re grumpy for a reason and carry on living.

Check out my zoo pics on FB. We had our typical bad-luck-streak in Munich, but oh well. It’s just added to the interesting experiences we have together and laugh about later.

Little Miss Decision-Maker ~has an Awesome Brother (& 2 others, no offense)

Oh ye. All work and no play isn’t doing me any favors.

Am I mixing my metaphors? It’s ok; my sighs and groans are all in German or Greek nowadays.

OH JE: (with a German y sound for the J) expecting the worst/made a stupid mistake

OX: (with a nice gutteral Greek CHI) shock, surprise, disappointment

Tja: (tu-ya, German) na was soll’s, resignation

Opa: (Greek) clumsy me, I’ve just dropped the marker/the pen has flown out of my hand.

Tsk: (A Greek sound for no, best accompanied with an upward rolling of the eyes.) Nope try again, you idiot.

Popo : (Greek) I am shocked/frustrated.

Ehhhhhhhh: (Greek) Like the Canadian but drawn-out, and slurred out the side of one’s mouth, with a touch of impatience/boredom. Also a borderline rude: HEY.

Tzaaak: (Greek, prob. I’ve learned this one from the bf so I’m not sure.) It’s like an etsi, or the sound you make when you’ve set something in at’s appropriate place/calling attention to a certain action.

BWAH: (bu-whah, German, hated this at first, but it does the job of conveying my feelings with fewer words.) Means: man, disgusting, lame, boring.

I do a lot of communicating with little words. These must be my top ten sounds, well they would be if I could think of one more. Ha!

I made fun of my little I. in class, cause she was standing at the board, had written her answer and was impatient to sit back down and not be the center of attention anymore, so she blurts out “EHHHHHHHHH, Kyria.”

In English it’s rude, especially to a teacher, but she doesn’t know and it cracked me up. Between my fits of giggles, I told her to stop sounding like my bf when he’s irritated with me. She’s a giggler, so then she was useless for the next ten minutes.

I do try to avoid saying OPA with my German classes, because for them all it means is grandpa and I really want my senior citizens to think I’m making fun of them.

Speaking of the senior classes though, today was the weirdest scenario I’ve ever had. Half an hour late to my beginner’s class, in pops one of the recent additions, apologizing for her tardiness. It becomes immediately clear that she has just two lonely teeth in her mouth.

My first thought is: oh my goodness, what is going on? Is she ill? But she grins proudly and explains she’s just come from the dentist, has no teeth and can’t let another week go by without English.

Now she’s a handful as it is: bossy, stubborn, vocal, and a know-it-all who tries to take over my teaching duties. I’m concerned, but if she has no vanity complexes and wants to be here, fine, I’ll look past it.

But slowly as the lesson continues, I realize she is as high as kite!! Pupils dilated, smeared glasses, spit flying out as she talks, interjecting loudly, and asking her neighbor nosy questions.

We all try to politely ignore her at first, and her neighbor patiently shares her book with her, but what can I say: after awhile it was just frickin hilarious. Oma was having a little spin on the dentist pain medication and we all went along for the ride. She didn’t even notice how she was making us laugh.

Oh life is absurd, ehhh! (Question tags would be better, wouldn’t they? But that would make me an even bigger British poser and irritate my brothers more. Better to just be Greek and rude sounding.)

I’ve had decision fatigue real bad this month. Sounds serious but all it really means is that I’m tired of being the one everyone arounds me turns to for the tiniest decision.

I think all teachers (of children, at least) must constantly replay the scenes in the classroom over and over again in their heads. Did I say that right? Was I too mean to her? Did she misunderstand what I meant? Were they whispering because they were cheating, calling me names, or gossiping? Did I handle that right? Should I say anything about them smoking? Did I embarrass them today? Did I do too much talking? Yes yes yes, of course I did. I always talk too much.

Since September I’ve woken up and immediately been confronted with a list of choices all day long. You can wash your dishes or prep for tomorrow. Take a shower or do your Greek. Go to the gym or cook a decent dinner. Can’t have both.

Then with the kids (and seniors) it’s… I would say a decision every 5 minutes. Can he go to the toilet, you decide? Can he or she say the answer? Oh it’s wrong, who will you call on next? Can he eat his McDonalds? Are you sure he can’t? He’s going to pout for the rest of the lesson, are you really sure? She wants to tell you something, let her? Someone has a question, is it about the lesson? What this word in Greek? What’s this word in German? Will you write down in their grades when they come in late? Writing today or next time? How much homework? Are they ready for the test or should we wait? Did they understand you, or should you repeat in German? 

Then on my vacation, or my half a weekend, my bf wonders why I get so riled up when I ask him to make a decision and he dinks around and asks me to help. Mostly he wants to make sure I’m happy, but I hate discussing things to death when I don’t want to be in charge.

But how do you recover from decision exhaustion? It does exist, I guess, or something like it. I’ve certainly read about it whilst avoiding the choice between cleaning my kitchen or preparing my taxes. (So far done neither, score!)

I can’t not make decisions and new things keep coming up. And I’ve got pretty much nothing over the next year that I’m looking forward to. BWAH.

Oh man no one warned me this is what being an adult feels like.

Tomorrow I’ve got to call up the German university and explain to them that my very expensive (this is not bragging, these are my d*** student loan payments) private-liberal arts Bachelor’s Degree is actually generally considered to be a good thing and not something to be viewed skeptically, so that I can apply for the Master’s program I really want to do.

And then if German rules fail to comprehend the multi-faceted, wonderous variety found in this thing called life, well then it looks like I’ll be having another set of decisions to deal with.

I’m not unhappy, but I’m not enjoying my students anymore. It’s just a job, with no weekend, and not enough pay for the work I do outside of the classroom.

I’m trying. At least I have awesome bros. And Sat is 2 years with the bf and Sunday is the Super Bowl in the COLTS STADIUM we toured last summer and the lesser Manning, but better than none. I mean a girl shouldn’t get greedy.

Senior Blues

I’ve got a holiday on Tuesday and a break from all my senior morning classes this week too. Hooray! I’ve vowed never to work a job 6 days a week again. I hated it in London and though I never intended to coming to Germany, I still got stuck in it again. My long holidays altogether don’t really make up for it either, the way they used to when I was a child, they’re usually dominated by some project or another that I never manage while working.

At any rate I have a month-long break from my senior classes so that I can take an intensive German course. My seniors are a bit irked, but it’s really the only benefit I get anymore from having extra self-employed classes. They have no idea how constant my other job is; I think I can safely generalize that they all believe I have weekends off. Well we’re not there to discuss me and they don’t listen that well to me in general, so I guess I don’t feel compelled to explain matters further. If my weekends don’t concern them, than neither do my scheduling reasons.

I like my seniors, but sometimes I feel like they are just as selfish and egoistic as my own peers in their 20s and this is strange and somehow uncomfortable for me. I’m much more at ease around Greek oldies who accept their age and have a sense of purpose and contentment with their families. I’ve already decided if I make to my 60s A) I certainly won’t be wasting that time complaining, even if everything hurts, and B) if I’m more alone than I want to be, I’ll spend my time in prayer and volunteering or move somewhere where I can help: to give back but also because everyone needs people to look after and a way to feel needed.

I like that they are still people, with a sense of pride in their appearance, but honestly I resent that they want me to essentially lie or ignore the fact that they are old and will die. My group of beginners wanted to call themselves middle-aged. I tried to say hmm, I guess they are no rules, but generally people would say between 40-60 years old. Once you retire you aren’t middle-aged.

What is going on here!? I mean really!! I do work for the senior center after all.

They want me to feel sorry for them, but I don’t, any more than I do for all of humanity chained to death. This is everyone’s fate. It’s shocking how many people have such inflated egos they hope to be the exception.

Oh I’m being harsh I know, but it’s weird when you gradually realize you’re sitting in front of a group of people lying to themselves very well, and you are expected to join in, or at least not crush the facade they’ve been carefully sculpting. That for me is akin to lying anyway. I don’t want to crush their delicate egos or push it in their faces, but it’s ridiculous how I have to tiptoe around it, cause they’re all hypersensitive. I’ve made them mad, by saying, oh when I was a child, and I meant it and it was a fact and a valid story, but apparently I was calling them old. SIGH.

Relatively speaking I won’t die so long after them anyway. What’s decades compared to centuries? Perhaps all our excessive antibiotics use will make a perfect situation for the next worldwide epidemic, perhaps we in my generation will come to envy their illness free life. Excuse me for looking at the big picture, but I am a student of history. It’s not exactly a steady march of progress, you have great thinkers who bring about change, followed by depraved characters who drag countries back into the mud. Not everything new is better and not everything old should be discarded.

It’d be better I suppose if these older Germans had decided to have more than one child. Most of them are lucky if their children live within a short drive of them and are even luckier if they have one grandchild to distract them. And what’s even more ridiculous is that those without grandkids are visibly jealous of those with. Even when they try to disguise it with scorn. Ach Germany what are you doing to yourself? You’ve got lots of healthy old people with nothing to occupy their time except delaying the inevitable.

It’s such an uncomfortable situation for me. I try to be understanding and listen and have a large deaf ear to their irrational demands and complaints.  There’s no chance I will ever forget them and we’ve shared a lot of interesting moments. I try to make them laugh or smile once a week, if nothing else. However, I welcome every break I get, cause deep down they are truly lonely, depressed, and discontent and it weighs down very heavily on me. I want to solve their problems, but I am busy carving out a life for myself in a foreign land and when class is over, I have places to be.

As I tell the bf at least once a month, promise me we let each other waste our lives complaining and become unbearable to those around us.

What a difference my little Greek children are. They even have the audacity to believe that there might be hope for them in Greece eventually!

Such a weird contrast.

Anyway I want to talk about the cute things my kids have done recently, but it’ll have to wait til later this week.

Another long, drawn-out cultural rant brought on by my students

Some days it seems like all I do is constantly defend one nationality from another. With my Greek kids I try to tell them that the Germans aren’t all cold and cruel and racist. With my German seniors I have to say that Greeks aren’t at all out to steal Germany’s money. Etc, etc, etc…

I don’t know why I do it. Maybe it’s some weird American hang-up of mine to try and promote multiculturalism whereever I go. And I guess after all those school and college years spent listening to white people telling me it’s the bee’s knees, I’ve turned into a little melting pot evangelist.

Maybe it’s cause I’m slightly possessive and protective of my classes. They are my responsibility after all, plus I don’t like something that I’ve seen the vulnerable side of being attacked in any way.

(Oh man just had to do a quick preposition check just now. My poor brain is awash in a sea of languages and doesn’t know what sounds right anymore. Is it vulnerable side to or of?  HA!)

Thursday, wow. I jumped right in with my seniors this week. They were grumbling and negative, but I care about them and teaching them a second year requires less prep work. On Wednesday we had a smaller class than normal and we had a rambling discussion about European politics, the housing market, the Euro vs. the DMark, humidity, September 11th, Germany’s former territory in Poland and then the War: the one and only that matters here.

I can’t describe it in a paragraph. I need pages and pages to tell you about the depth of my feelings when it comes to WWII and Germany. They don’t want to bring it up, they are tired of being told they’re Nazis. They were children during the war for the most part, and they are tired of being told they knew, and they are tired of having to pretend the trauma of their childhood doesn’t count for anything, because they weren’t Jews. And if we were in Berlin, many of them would hide a rape or two at the hands of the Russian soldiers.

I watched Inglourious Basterds and I expected to like it. But I hated it. It was like some glorified WWII video game; like you could just prance into a situation and it would be crystal clear, without a doubt what’s right of wrong. I turned it off after Diane Kruger shot the Nazi dad. I love Tarantino. I just wish he had chosen any other topic. It could never be a lighthearted flick for me. As if history is that simple; as if everything is so black and white. As if no one suffered anything but those deserving it. As if American soldiers didn’t go AWOL like cowards after they found a new European mistress. As if many good ol’ country boys didn’t go back home leaving bastard children to grow up without fathers. As if America didn’t follow the same old tired politics of only taking action when there’s enough popular movement not to rule out a re-election.

And we did good things in the war and we certainly sped up the process from the previous drawn-out hellhole that was WWI and brave men died far away from home.

But simple? No. Good vs. Bad? No. All Germans were Nazis? No.

And I ask myself why I get so worked up. I ask myself why I get so annoyed when I hear Americans talking about the war like it was yesterday. I ask myself why it’s so important that they see Germany is so much more than Nazis and Hitler.

But I’m convinced that this matters. I’m convinced that blurring the humanity of the Germans is dangerous. I’m worried that we’ve been able to glorify war to a dangerous level by always having them on foreign soil and leaving the mess for someone else to deal with. Why are all these men coming back from Iraq and not getting the psychological help they need? And then they go out shooting civilians and we ask why. And Vietnam vets? How did they fare?

I didn’t say anything like that to my seniors. Oh, I behave myself very well! My bf doesn’t always believe it, but as much as I can talk when you get me going, as a teacher my job is to guide the conversation, not dominate it. I only said the bit about how the American who come here for WWII have their eyes closed to everything else Germany has to offer.

The relief in their eyes, after I said that, after it was clear that I wasn’t looking at them with judging eyes I think I will always treasure. Pain is pain. It doesn’t equal holocaust atrocities. But I think the Germans have been working a long time on how to be honest and come to terms with their past. I love that about them. We will forget, us Americans, the real story first, because we won’t need to remember the little bits about taking a train to strangers to escape the bombs or eating chocolate from an American GI. We’ll forget the little details because we don’t to constantly ask ourselves what happened, who did what, what can we do now?

Later on my advanced class had to consider what would happen to society if we all lived to be 100. Needless to say, before I knew it, the class dissolved into German bashing and how German seniors citizens suck and are selfish. Of course Greek grandparents are better.

SIGH

This is my life people. I try to put them all in each other’s shoes. I can’t help it. I am a frickin bleeding heart. I poked holes in their arguments. I called the out for being selfish too. I asked them to imagine being old and lonely with no close family nearby. I considered the serious arguments they offered me and asked them why, why, why?

I know one reason why the last class passed proficiency. I taught them critical thinking. That’s my thing. Cause they absolutely need that in the Speaking and Writing part. You can’t be wishy-washy with such complicated topics.

My advanced kids were happy to come in today, they gave me big smiles and I was a bit taken aback. I want it to be a safe place, where they can state they opinion as long as they have the ability to provide some logical justification when it’s too out there. They ought to question what they hear and check what people tell them. Luckily I can cut through their b.s. With the seniors, out of respect I ignore a lot of crazy statements.

I can already see these year coming to a close and I will once again have done practically nothing in terms of my personal language studies because I will have given all my energy and effort, love and patience to the kids and seniors.

Please forgive this moment of ego. I’ve worked really hard at this and I know I’m a good teacher. Not perfect, competent. Coming soon I’ll have another class to prepare for the proficiency test and I’m so excited.

There’s more that could be said. But I’ll leave you with some classroom pics. Maybe sometime I can take some individual pics of the stories students have written that I have on my door and post them here too.

I made this little photo collage of scenes from the Rocky Mountain National Park that I took when I went hiking back with my family in August. It's a little blurrier here than I thought. I kept glancing at it all day today and it brought my mood up in an instant. The girls from the last class gathered round it at the end to look at my boyfriend and inform me he's Greek looking.

I constantly refer to my map of US states. We either talk about the size of things or I try to point out where things are located and that the US is very, very big. Now I've got a new addition of which state names come from Indian languages, because there's always some smart aleck who hopes asking my why it's called Mississippi will distract me from the lesson.

Here's my somewhat messy desk, with my new photo addition. I was too exhausted to deal with all of today's vocab and put stickers on their little notebooks, so all this is waiting for me tomorrow!

Last dash before Greece

Oh dear the bf is going to kill me when he comes over in a bit and sees the state of my apartment. I guess he’s realized by now that I am totally incapable of packing in advance. In fact, I feel incapacitated when faced with the thought of packing. The clothes are all washed and lying near my suitcase, since yesterday morning. Sigh.

So I’m procrastinating, sue me! I did so much running around today. Returned books and switched over bills, called the tax guy (who was very pleasantly helpful), rescheduled my appointment with my accountant (I kid you not, I just looked it up in English, forget my English sometimes), but the bf will have to move it back, cause I rescheduled it in a panic before I talked to the tax man. Then to continue, had a bike accident and scraped a nice chunk out of my elbow, went to finish work, but unfortunately only halfway there for the kids, and sent them off early without playing or talking. Then finished my work before the next kids came. Oy and then guess what, well the grades weren’t ready. My boss was pissed. I wasn’t trying to throw my colleague under the bus, but she dropped the ball. We talked it over twice and she was going to finish the last test and then give our boss the grades on Monday. She forgot, I didn’t double check and now my boss has more work to do. She was mad and did the Greek yelling thing, that sounds like it’s really angry to an American, but probably isn’t to the Greeks. I just left. It wasn’t my fault, BUT my boss expects us both to be on top of things. I don’t want to irritate my coworker by checking up on her, and she practically insisted on it, but guess I need to cover my own ass and not worry about her feelings. Le sigh.

Moving on, called up the oldies twice to tell them we won’t come to the garden party today. The will, or are, or were so disappointed, so I was very glad that no one picked up both times. I don’t have time to deal with hurt old people feelings and they knew it’d be tough for me anyway, will do damage control when I come back in August.

Then I managed to say a quick goodbye, still have to come in tomorrow morning before the flight to sign off all the grades, bah. Came back, ate while watching a John Stewart, and tried to get a hold of my friend in Greece. No luck. Who the heck am I meeting tomorrow?? I had all week to call, but had telephone calls all week, and by then it was far too late in Greece. Well it’s Greece it’ll work out. I’m excited but still have to pack and clean and text my boss, and give the bf a list of things he needs to take care of if we are going to be ready for our US trip!

Does any of that make any sense??? Probably not. I’ve nearly finished it all though. Have I done enough Greek??? Ehhhhhhhhhh, no. Thoroughly disappointed with myself, I’d like to finally have something to show for all my effort. I spent a whole year in a Greek class listening to horrible accents and a teacher drone on and on about Greek culture. Man I could write that book yo. But the Germans were happy, and I thought it would improve, so I didn’t complain.

Selber Schuld. As the Germans say. At least it’s a tax write-off. Oh yeah and then in August I have to organize a rental care and budget for this trip. But that’s enough from me for now. Maybe sometime tomorrow I will let out a big sigh and just think to myself, well there’s nothing I can get done now, best to just enjoy myself. 

And I will. I miss them all. I’m just too stressed to be excited and I’ve been too stressed for too long. 😛

Oh and to get me in the mood, this kid is great.

Back to Thursdays

Thursday is a long day, both in terms of the hours I work and the patience it requires from me. Today was better than normal, until the end. I tried extra hard to stave off the absolutely exhausted feeling that hits me at precisely 7:45pm, once my last students leave. And the one thing I absolutely can’t do on a full Thursday is the dishes. My work schedule is punishing enough without doing my least favorite chore.

Oh where to begin? I swear these things will have a central theme. I won’t ever be a decent blogger. There’s too much nonsense here that I don’t have time to sort out. But I didn’t start this again to play on the internet. I already waste too much time looking up news stories about America, England and Germany.

Right so on Thursday I have to travel to the side part of town to the Germany senior center there for four hours of classes. Now my first class on of the day is a group of seniors who’ve combined classes and come very very close to absolutely hating each other guts. Sometimes I am more babysitter to their moods than an actual English teacher. They’ve also disrespected me a bit by trying to tell me how to do my job (German “honesty”) and I sometimes snap at them a bit more than I’m normally inclined to, but man girl’s gotta have a backbone.

I’ve just made it sound hideous, but despite that last paragraph I actually enjoy the classes on occasion. In fact today, the guys didn’t come today and so I had a very relaxed class of elderly women talking about their gardens and favorite flowers and fruits and asking each other about planting tips with huge interest, in mostly English for half the class. If the guys had been there, we wouldn’t have gotten away with it. One of them would have started in on how this is teaching him nothing and our little bunny trails of plant names and what grows best where would have been stopped. Today all the women left very happy and I felt like fate had smiled on me a bit. Usually I have to be on toes and in fact get up at 7 on Thursdays to make sure I’m awake enough for it.

The next class wasn’t as fun, but it was fine. More students have joined the course and we all aren’t on the same page yet. It was beginner, not conversation. But we’ve switched to a better book and I’ve taken to not just doing all the mini-dialogues but also enacting little mini-situations with me where I introduce more vocab and give them the spontaneity of a native speaker and having to think on their toes. I’ve reduced my speaking time to mostly giving instructions/homework and explaining some grammar. Today I played flight attendant and they ordered drinks.

In the course of a year my classes with the seniors have improved to benefit us all. Unfortunately contrary to what we’d like to believe in our instantaneous world, being a good teacher and getting to know the peculiarities of a group is something that just takes time. I’ve also learned that while my American sensitivities may bristle at the direct feedback my senior citizens give very willingly, it’s also the only way I can know what works and doesn’t. There have been days where I’ve walked around in a defensive huff fighting through my knee-jerk response, until the emotional cloud subsides and logic proves them to have a point.

My other boss also gives me a very honest assessment and I’ve come to value knowing exactly where I stand with a group of people. My skin has gotten a bit thicker in Europe. It’s not always something I can handle without a bit of time to think it over and my Thurs. class today gave me too much “feedback” before I really had the chance to show them how a lesson with me works BUT I guess I’m grown up enough to separate personal life from work. I want to do my job well first, and be liked 2nd.  Which I guess makes me very compartmentalized and German these days. In America work was more like a popularity contest at times and the line between work and personal life was very blurred.

So I went into the city center after for my work, feeling relieved that first half was over. I was inspired today to eat a little meatball/meatloaf sandwich from the butcher. Oh perfectly seasoned and just what I needed. I also bought a small pick-me-up coffee before hand and a sandwich for later. Then had another bakery coffee, which I never do. But as I said, I was determined to fight exhaustion.

At work it was the third time I cleaned up puke in the girls bathroom, all the same color, not from the little kids. Plus apparently the cleaning lady always finds sausages in the trash and other things. I think we have a bulemic on our hands. Well not us the math department. I think she must want to get caught, cause she’s not doing a good job of hiding it.

Ahhh another day. The first kids are a newish class for me and so excited to have me finally. We have fun. The little boys are a little bit in love, so they come up with excuses to come up to my desk and check things. Oh goodness, tell me how cute is it when little boys (10) with a pierced ears or mohawks or fat little adult behavior suddenly pretend they are the cleverest students or too cool to work, but they know all the answers. And they girls look up with their big eyes and whisper things like “Kyria you look pretty today.” And I say thanks Schatz (dear/treasure) because I treasure them all and have practically come to tears more times than I care to admit thinking about how much my Greek brats mean to me. And I wish, really wish that this honeymoon time won’t end. Because it’s such a beautiful part of human nature when people want you to believe and see the best in them and I try my hardest to let them see that striving to improve is something that won’t go unrecognized.

And putting this into words is bringing me pretty near onto tears.

The bf is smart. When I talk about the kids, mostly with wonder at the curious thing they’ve said or done, I pretend not to care. And he just smiles knowingly and lets me not admit it. And it’s better for my pride I think.

And that’s done and next comes my littlest kids and today little S. came early and hadn’t learned her vocab so we practiced together, although she informed me she wasn’t smart cause she was in the middle level of schooling (damn you German school system). And it was pleasing for her to realize I was on her side and for me to see that with a bit of guidance she could do a lot of work.

The little kids are still a struggle for me. The problem is communication struggles. Sometimes me German isn’t up to par and my Greek doesn’t come to mind. Sometimes the kids aren’t in the mood to think in German. Today was perfect though. Every single one of them got almost equal time from me. And I used Greek to keep them focused. Cheeky little P. 11! started saying my name without any Miss. I looked at him, corrected him and said we aren’t best friends. Not just for him, but for the other kids not to get any ideas. His eyes got big as he thought over my words. His brother needs lots of attention. I think he gets jealous, but is too calm to act out. Today he tried to copy his brother and enact a writing strike, but a few compliments set him right.

The last class is my proficiency class. They are more like adults sometimes and we speak almost only English. It’s the best of the best. Today we talked about spoken English vs. grammatically correct with a text I prepared. Oh they love it. They love America and all things cool. They think English is uber-cool.

Of course these lovely day was ruined by the tax office fining me for not paying taxes that I can’t prove I don’t have to pay until I send them something in writing about my new visa which I’ve been waiting for since the beginning of April! Oh was furious. Then I tried to make popcorn, but I burned my tester, because I wasn’t paying attention. Hot oil, not good. Space cadet. And I also forgot about this English Stammtisch I wanted to go to. But that’s ok since I’m too chicken to go alone atm.

So there it is! A very long entry about my longest workday.