a whole lot of nothing

I feel knee-deep in chaos at the moment. My room is neither a complete disaster, nor tidy. I guess this is what my anal former roommate meant when she talked about my cleaning style, (or with her heavy-handed hints, of a lack thereof). Well that’s why I don’t have a roommate anymore. I don’t need anyone else weighing down my guilty conscience.

I’ll try to make this brief. I tried writing in here a few times, but hadn’t had any flashes of inspiration and didn’t feel like moaning again.

There it is again. I’ve lost my train of thought. Writer’s block.

Recently all I want to do is read, finished a short book today in between classes and the gym. But that is at the expense of my apartment, which, I must add is taunting me every time I look around with unfinished cleaning projects.

Wait didn’t I just spend all Sunday cleaning? What happened in 2 days?

The procrastinator in me will never die. But maybe this time he has a point. I mean when my guests come on Tuesday, I’ll turn into a perfectly efficient machine, cleaning as I talk and whenever I’m at home alone. Why waste more time doing it now? I’ll have to clean up after myself tomorrow too.

Enough about cleaning. I went to the gym tonight, but I don’t want to talk about that either because the instructor was really vile and not even worth stereotyping. Zeees are ze house rules! Disobey and I will scream at you! Zere are no exceptions!

I went back to my seniors today. It’s funny how a 6 week break seems like no time at all when I’m standing thermos in hand encouraging them to speak up. They were kind in a way I didn’t expect and gave me a card and gift certificate for Christmas. Seiggi, who is a typical Franconian man, gave me a cute little santa bag for good luck. He’s single (perhaps regrettably so), has two grown sons who he’d love to set me up with were I ever to hint at a break up. He’s got a dry sense of humor typical of the region here and possibly the only quality about the people here that I really truly love. It reminds me of my grandpa.

Funny, if the bf weren’t around (heaven forbid) I don’t think I would have had a problem getting dates. At what cost though. Teaching a parent of the person you love could get terribly complicated. I much prefer the current situation of both of us spitting out our broken languages without any judgement.

It was almost nice to be back. It’s perturbing to deal with so many stubborn characters who want to have everything go their way, but seeing new pics of the grandkids and making time for a conversation with the recent widow, it’s hard to describe.

With the kids I’m always looking after them, even when they can do it themselves, I worry about them so. I fret about the bad influences they have. (Smoking is a huge conundrum for me, currently. I want to tell them off so badly, but I don’t want to be just another stupid adult they don’t listen to.)

The seniors know how to take care of people though. It’s nice to shift the responsibility back and forth. I don’t have to make every decision on my own and hope it’s right. They’ll tell me what is right! And often we can listen to each other and reach a pleasant consensus.

It’s a nice feeling to be welcomed back. I’ll savor it Wednesday and Thursday all over again. I’m happy I took time for my German. I was proud of myself today. Explaining things accurately and clearly.

That’s enough. Nothing currently that interesting.



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