It’s my first chance to just sit around the house and wind down since I finished up the school year, July 29th. I’ve been organizing my files and uploading a lot of songs and Greek tracks onto my phone for all the travelling I’ll do around America. I’ve only been meaning to do it for the whole year I’ve had my phone! It’s amazing how long things that don’t take all that much time get pushed back.
But I’ve needed this day. I’ve got no obligations, I don’t need to be anywhere or worry about anyone. The world will not end if I stay online and catch up with what’s going on in the world.
I work hard here and I have plans next year to work even harder to manage everything I want to get done. I have never been so organized in my entire life, nor more determined to not waste my time like I have in the past. My students have inspired me to really keep my nose to the grindstone and make real language progress and work-wise I have to be on top of everything, in a way, I never knew was possible if I want to keep as much of my income as I can.
There’s an American part of me that gets defensive and feels guilty about all the vacation time I get. Not to a huge extent, I mean one of the main reasons I left the US was because I think a 2 week vacation is a sick joke, especially when you’ve got to worry about what kind of health care your employer will give you. You all can write all the articles you want to in the US about how Europe is delusional and the Euro will never survive. I don’t believe any of them for a second. It’s just a bunch of Euro-haters.
But yes, I do get a bit defensive sometimes. I can’t help it. Especially when people from America glamorize my life and verbally emphasize how exciting it is seeing new things. And it is man, it is. I don’t want to get all negative, but I’ve been to the same place in Greece loads of times now and I didn’t want to go at all this year. Oh poor me, I know. But as an expat-living abroad, I can’t repeat enough how normal it all becomes and honestly more than anything, how tiring it all is.
I live in a pretty easy country when it comes to bureaucracy, but man trying to express yourself with the appropriate vocabulary so that the authorities treat you like a competent adult, instead of a child is so ridiculously tiring. I wish every person in the world experienced a situation where someone talked down to them because of their lack of language skills.
I have fought hard to get where I am. I sat at home waitressing, doing nothing but saving up until I had enough money to get my butt over to Europe again, and not without huge support, (I lived with friends for the first 2 months).
This song reminds me of a conversation I had with my friend this weekend. We were talking about the friends we don’t have in our lives anymore and how that hurts and disappoints us both. I was mentioning how some old college classmates of mine were constantly going on about how impressed they were with what I had managed, then they kept saying they wished they could do it themselves. Then I gave them tips, but after awhile it became clear they didn’t really want to do it themselves, they just wanted to project their regret onto me.
And I’m sorry but how weird is that. Imagine for a second someone who decided not to have kids, and then talking to their friends with families about how great their families are, every single time. I mean the families would stop finding it a compliment and be like, dude, if you want some kids, go and have your own, or adopt some older ones, shut up already about mine. I get it.
I did not make life decisions to inspire jealousy or regret in other people. I made normal, boring, logical decisions about the quality of life I best enjoy.
Telling all this to my friend she reminded me how much shit I put up with trying to get something permanent in London and Greece and how devastated I was going home and how making my own path wasn’t clear at all. I had to slowly narrow down what didn’t suit me. And I was like, oh yeah, I had a pretty crappy time back then, didn’t I.
At any rate we both agreed, for better or worse we can’t control the people who want to stay in our lives. All I can do is make as much time as I can for the ones that stay in touch. Even if it means a 4 hour drive in the middle of two tiring vacations. And it means going to a wedding when you don’t feel ready or relaxed and your bf can’t come.
Pictures! That’s what I promised.
Going out at night for some tsiporo with mezedes. Below I tried snails for the first time. Lots of grit, and apparently not fast appropriate, found out afterwards.
My day of relaxing was yesterday. Today has been Stress pur. I tried. I really did. I’m fed up with all these long term projects. I won’t get into it. Enjoy the pics.